Selective hearing has developed a negative connotation, often being used as a derogatory term for those who seem to only hear or listen to what they want to hear. You may have spoken to someone about something mundane, like chores, and noticed they seemed bored or inattentive. However, if you mentioned their favorite food or activity, their attention would immediately shift to you—this is selective hearing.

How does selective hearing work?

Recent research on the auditory cortex, which processes sound in the brain, has shown that our brains can prioritize sounds. Even with multiple sounds and background noise, the brain can pick out different tones and frequencies. In situations with too much noise, your brain will have a harder time distinguishing between different sounds. This is especially true when two similar sounds blend together—like two high-pitched sounds—which can confuse the auditory cortex.

In the research study, participants were asked to listen to two voices speaking at the same time. When instructed to focus on only one voice and repeat what was said, the data revealed that participants concentrated solely on the voice they were asked to follow, filtering out the other voice. While they could still hear the background voice, they didn't actively listen to what it was saying.

This is one of the key differences between us and new technology focused on voice recognition. Our brains have the ability to recognize and prioritize sounds even in the presence of background noise. For example, if you hear two people talking, you can focus on one person’s words, while voice assistants like Siri may become confused.

It’s important to note that selective hearing may be more pronounced in certain individuals. People with autism, ADHD, or hearing loss are particularly prone to difficulties with selective hearing.

How to manage and improve selective hearing

If you have a friend, family member, or child who zones out of conversations, it can be frustrating to have to repeat yourself—especially if this happens regularly. It’s important to remember that communication differs depending on the individual, and making an effort to improve communication can make a big difference.

Here are some tips for managing selective hearing:

1. Understand the listener’s needs

This might include getting their attention before starting a conversation, speaking clearly, and allowing time for pauses and questions. Some individuals may find it difficult to pay attention to long sentences, so giving them time to process the information or ask for clarification can greatly improve communication.

2. Practice good listening habits

If you are struggling with selective hearing, there are methods you can implement in your daily life to help ensure you don’t miss important details in conversations. This might include choosing an appropriate listening space, focusing on one thing at a time, giving your full attention to the speaker, and seeking out quieter spaces for conversations.

3. Ensure hearing loss isn’t the issue

Make sure that selective hearing isn’t actually a result of hearing loss. In children, middle ear fluid is a common cause of fluctuating hearing loss. In adults, high-frequency hearing loss, often associated with aging, can make it more difficult to understand speech. A simple hearing test by an audiologist or an online hearing test can help determine if there are any underlying hearing issues that need attention.

If you're concerned about potential hearing loss but aren't sure whether you need to see an audiologist, consider setting up a free hearing consultation with one of Lexie’s Hearing experts to get answers to any questions you may have.

In summary

Selective hearing is simply the way some people filter out information, often without even realizing it. If you struggle with selective hearing, it's important to communicate this with others so they understand why you might miss certain details, which can help reduce frustration.

If you know someone who experiences selective hearing, be patient with them. Take the time to slow down and figure out the best way to get their attention before discussing important details. This can reduce stress and frustration, because chances are, the person you're talking to is just as frustrated as you are.